banal

Ett smärre tjafs har brutit ut bland några högprofilsbloggare gällande besöksstatistik. De länkar jag lägger in här är bara slumpvist tagna axplock, och skall inte representera stämningen eller dess omfattning. (Mest för att jag inte iddes sortera dem). Det handlar dels om en kommande, lukrativ annonsmarknad (hoppas de) och om att ta chansen att klättra upp till elitsfären bland bloggare och bli ett namn att räkna med. Själv skall jag avstå ifrån att kokettera med min besöksstatistik och undvika att framstå som en manlig, aglamourös prinsessa. Statistiken är som mina få stackars regelbundna läsare förstår inget att kokettera med. Det är inte heller resultaten i popularitetsomröstningarna direkt från uppehållsrummen i högstadiet eller ens siffrorna på vem som länkas mest. Men så var det ju det här med att flera bloggar har kommits på med att fuska med statistiken. Stämningen är grumlad. Snart flyger förhoppningsvis de små färgglada plastspadarna i luften över det lite mer officiella hörnet av bloggsandlådan. Min statistik! Min plats på den bloggsociala stegen!
Mina (förhoppningsvis) potentiella annonsintäkter! My silly blog!




      Minister: Good morning. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, but I'm afraid my blog has become rather sillier recently, and so it takes me rather longer to get to work. (sits at desk) Now then, what was it again?

      Mr Pudey: Well sir, I have a silly blog and I'd like to obtain a Government grant to help me develop it.

      Minister: I see. May I see your silly blog?

      Mr Pudey: Yes, certainly, yes.

      (He gets up and shows a few posts, lifting the bottom part of his left leg sharply at every alternate page. He stops.)

      Minister: That's it, is it?

      Mr Pudey: Yes, that's it, yes.

      Minister: lt's not particularly silly, is it? I mean, the front page isn't silly at all and the subsequent posts merely do an occacional forward aerial half turn every alternate week.

      Mr Pudey: Yes, but I think that with Government backing I could make it very silly.

      Minister: (rising) Mr Pudey, (he blogs about behind the desk in a very silly fashion) the very real problem is one of money. I'm afraid that the Ministry of Silly Blogs is no longer getting the kind of support it needs. You see there's Defence, Social Security, Health, Housing, Education, Silly blogs ... they're all supposed to get the same. But last year, the Government spent less on the Ministry of Silly Blogs than it did on National Defence! Now we get £348,000,000 a year, which is supposed to be spent on all our available products. (he sits down) Coffee?

      Mr Pudey: Yes please.

      Minister: (pressing intercom) Now Mrs Two-Lumps, would you bring us in two coffees please?

      Intercom Voice: Yes, Mr Teabag.

      Minister: ... Out of her mind. Now the Japanese have a man who can bend his wordpress back over his head and back again with every single edit. While the Israelis... here's the coffee.

      (Enter secretary with tray with two cups on it. She has a particularly jerky silly blog which means that by the time she reaches the minister there is no coffee left in the cups. The minister has a quick look in the cups, and smiles understandingly.)

      Minister: Thank you - lovely. (she exits still carrying tray and cups) You're really interested in silly blogs, aren't you?

      Mr Pudey: Oh rather. Yes.

      Minister: Well take a look at this, then.

      (He products a projector from beneath his desk already spooled up and plugged in. He flicks a switch and it beams onto the opposite wall. The film shows a sequence of six old-fashioned silly blogers. The film is old silent-movie type, scratchy, jerky and 8mm quality. All the participants wear 1900's type costume. One has huge shoes with soles a foot thick, one is a woman, one has. very long 'Little Tich' shoes. Cut back to office. The minister hurls the projector away. Along with papers and everything else on his desk. He leans forward.)

      Minister: Now Mr Pudey. I'm not going to mince words with you. I'm going to offer you a Research Fellowship on the Anglo-French

      Mr Pudey: La Blogif Futile?

      (Cut to two Frenchmen, wearing striped jerseys and berets, standing in a field with a third man who is entirely covered by a sheet.)

      First Frenchman: Bonjour ... et maintenant ... comme d'habitude, au sujet du Le Blogif Commun. Et maintenant, je vous presente, encore une fois, mon ami, le pouf célèbre, Jean-Brian Zatapathique. (he removes his moustache and sticks it onto the other Frenchman)

      Second Frenchman: Merci, mon petit chou-chou Brian Trubshawe. Et maintenant avec les pages à droite, et les edits au gauche, et maintenant l'Anglais-Française Blogif Futile, et voilà

      (They unveil the third man and blog off. He is facing to camera left and appears to be dressed as a city gent; then he turns about face and we see on his fight half he is dressed au style francais. He moves off into the distance in eccentric speeded-up motion.)

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